Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
