remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's even glitter on my cock...
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