i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
