I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
