That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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