For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You're like the curious george of whores
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
