Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
