ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize