Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
