I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
