I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
