You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
