people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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