I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
