he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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