MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
