You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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