you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
