but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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