yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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