are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize