I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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