And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
foreskin is a definite game changer
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
