im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
