More tranny stories later!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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