God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
