I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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