with your own penis?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
