You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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