I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
foreskin is a definite game changer
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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