i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
