I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize