you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize