Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
