I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
