Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize