I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
