just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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