You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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