No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
