Moan for me like Helen Keller
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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