I feel like abortions should bother me more
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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