it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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