wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
