I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
