Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize