So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
