I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize