I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
