I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
