so explain again why im purple
no
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
