Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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