is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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