I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
