before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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