i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
