Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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