just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize